Back from my holiday in Tenerife. It was ok. It was good to be away (first time in 6 years I believe) however going with your parents to a place thats best suited to middle aged (no offence) people isn't exactly the greatest either.
I rarely got a moment to myself (other than the 4 half hour sessions I had in the arcade computer terminal thingummyjigs that were a Euro for half an hour, score!), and the only thing that would have made it easier for me to sunbathe would have been an mp3 player, although I don't miss my iPod that much. As the days passed and the odd song came into my head I longed to hear, one namely being "The Seahorses - Blinded By The Sun", which is a great britpop classic that I recently rediscovered, its not earth shattering but its really nicely sung. Another one was "Doves - Pounding", a fantastic song with its messages of love and wonderlust (let's leave at sunrise, let's live by the ocean), against the backdrop of pounding drums and almost agonising vocals and the notion that it's now or never. Admittedly I've only recently discovered the lyrics. I recommend anyone to download every one of their singles, I'm trying the albums but I can definately tell you the singles (particularly from "The Last Broadcast") are superb.
I also spent some time reading a couple of Jeremy Clarkson's books, "The World According to Clarkson" and "I Know You Got Soul". I didn't finish the latter but I plan to. I'm not a great reader (why I went to uni on this premise I'll never know) but I think I'm getting there. Clarkson, who most females will probably blame for dragging their boyfriends away to watch Top Gear most Sunday nights (I was gulity of this once, sorry), is actually a bloody great writer. I was especially pleased to read about his own experience of making mistakes and our protective culture. I'm also keen on the idea of a machine having a soul. I enjoyed reading about the concorde, as I myself was quite saddened when they were withdrawn, although I never envisaged it to be quite the step backwards as Clarkson writes. This is probably because I hadn't flown in 6 years! Someone please build a faster plane that will bloody fly above all the dodgy turbulence! But aye, he's a great intelligent writer who says it as he speaks it on TV with great topical referencing thrown in. And I plan on copying him when it comes to listening to stuff in the dark, it's a dying hobby.
He also claims the Millennium Falcon has a soul though, I'm not sure on that one.
Anyway back to the title subject. I used to be a bit of a brainbox at school and well I got my degree through last minute cramming. I hate the fact that my laptop seems to be the only useful piece of kit that I own (I have an Xbox 360 but I don't play her much, bring on Final Fantasy 13 and please be much better than 12). I have 2 analogue channels on my TV in my room at home (soon to lose those I'd imagine) with no aerial plug for a Digibox. I'd watch TV in the living room but I'd soon succumb to my mother's yelping for Deal or No Deal to be put on, or Coronation Street or Emmerdale or Eastenders, and no-one wants that. I want to hate how Noel Edmonds is trying to save the world again, but he's actually right that its the people that can fix their problems, not the Government's responsibility to do so, but he's wrong that there's no need for government.
I think the point is I haven't really had much coin to spend of my own will, I worked all the way through 3rd and 4th year but most of the money from 3rd year was squandered and the 4th year money went solely on needs and not wants. To be truthful all the way through uni apart from 1st and 3rd year I have been a bit of a stinge, and I've never gotten into a proper routine. I've gotten to the point where I have so little to say except for these odd outbursts that I've grown tired of it. I've told people that I've wanted to go back to Glasgow because I sort of have unfinished business with it (ie not done enough there, and I don't mean beating seven shades of shit out of Neil Lennon down Ashton Lane like some folk do).
However I can't really afford to restrict myself anymore, I've actually done it most of my life and it's lead me into making mistakes and being a cynical bastard. I'm quite sick of it down home way and if I want to become more of an opinionated and soulful (clever link here! it was unintended!) person then I really have to get a move on and work towards it. I've been that person before, it's actually not that hard, but you have to be able to realise when the routine and lifestyle changes and when it changes you. Hell I thought for a long long time that I could do without TV and Radio (and I suppose you can add books now), stupid nonce. I need things to talk about. I want a new TV, new posters, a camera, a new PC and new mp3 player, but you can't get any of these bastarding things sitting on your arse can you? I also want a "prized" gym membership...
If the work is elsewhere then so be it. I've toyed with applying for a job in London until I saw it was actually a sales job (I could still do it but I think the money doesn't quite translate the same up here). I've applied for another job in Edinburgh and it looks like its well paid and I could have a chance even if I'd applied straight out of Secondary School, which is a bit of an arse but thats the way it goes.
Hell I even tried the football route. However all that got me was an addiction to Football Manager (which is actually better than watching most games of football on TV tbh) and the fabulous label of being a "big time Charlie" which is hilarious really. For reasons known to everyone I was brought up to be a Rangers fan, but I merely harbour a preference for them to win the league over Celtic now. The "success" they had in Europe last season was phenomenal. They didn't deserve an inch of it really, but it makes up for all the years in the 90s that they actually had a brilliant team and got nowhere. Anyway I went to a few of the Scottish Cup games following Queens (not just the semi and final!) and I've decided they are definately my team. I actually enjoy talking them up on Forever Delayed, maybe the membership find it refreshing compared to the Top 3 in England pish that I actually don't have a clue about. Queens are my local team and I'll always know or want to know how they are getting along. If I'm home and my Dad wants to go to the game, we'll go. But I won't be the hardcore heavy pint swilling football idiot.
I suppose that's it really. In summary I've made my mistakes, and I think I'm done paying the price even though I could have actually changed things whenever. Sometimes it's hard to actually know I guess. I've taken quite a while to write this. I was gonna make sure I was going to get up at 9am, but I think I'll put it back to 10am, just for tomorrow.
Oh, one more thing. Mark goes on about how he wants his blog to be reviews of stuff. I think I'll do the same, only I'll do it with better and more interesting things.
